Nothing traumatic has happened or anything... I am just lonely and sad. As of today, Kevin has been gone for 7 weeks doing his BOLC (officer's basic training course) in San Antonio. I am just so sick of having him gone. This is the longest we have been separated since we started dating. We started dating at the end of basic training 8 years ago next month.We were best friends before that, and during basic it was progressing to something slightly more than just friends (although I was completely oblivious...my roommates weren't!). So, I flew out with his parents to see him graduate from basic and surprised him :) Something had changed... Instantly we went from best friends, to in love. It was wonderful! And, we haven't been separated more than 6 weeks at once since that time. I will admit that the army has been a really good thing for us, and for our marriage. After all, absence does make the heart grow fonder. But, this is too long. Especially with a 23-month-old. I am so overwhelmed with everything I have going on (which I definitely could decrease my load a little, but I won't), I just need my partner to support me, to be a shoulder for me, to encourage me and cheer me on, and to pick up the slack. This is rough. I'm thrilled that we only have 3 weeks left, but it just feels like it will never end. It doesn't help that he is in the field this week (and the last two) without his phone so I don't even get to talk to him at all. I just feel extra lonely tonight. I need him. I am so darn in love with that man! I hate being away from him. Maddi and I were lucky enough to get to fly out and see him at the first of this month, though! It was so nice, and very much needed. I will have to post pictures from our trip when I get home and finally find a spare moment :) The only negative thing about it (besides a plane ride with an almost two year old) is that I miss him all over again. I had finally settled in and was handling it, but now I am back to being depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I had a bit of a breakdown on Monday... Maddi was very concerned and came up to me and just hugged me the entire time I cried; never let me go. And kept saying, "sss ok mommy!" It was so precious! She is such a tender little thing, I just love her! She is my life, my joy, my pride. She is the only thing holding me together right now!
Alright, enough ranting. I need to get back to studying for my big test next week. I am doing an advanced education module at work in Cardiology, and have my oral exam next Wednesday. I am NOT ready, at all!! I'm in big trouble. As usual, I totally put it off to the last minute and now I'm feeling the pressure. I am also way behind in editing several shoots from last month, and this month too. I am THRILLED my photography is taking off so well, but man, I am behind! I need a moment to breathe! I have way too much on my plate right now. But, I can't back down from any of it. I just need to deal with it. I can't turn down shoots, otherwise I will NEVER get my business where I want it. I just need my Kevy back...
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