Lame!!

So, I applied back in March to take boards this summer to become an Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). I have been wanting to do this since I got my LPN license in 2007 and started working postpartum/Mother-Baby at Jordan Valley. Well, I had talked to the head of the lactation department here at Primary Children's Medical Center (Ellen), and she helped me calculate my hours to make sure I met the minimum requirement of 1000 clinical lactation hours (within 5 years). We calculated that I had more than enough. So, I went to the final conference to secure my minimum lactation educational hours and submitted my application the next day. Well, last Tuesday (the 16th) I received a phone call from the company that administers the test (IBCLE) asking if I knew that I was being audited on my application. No, of course not. They should have sent me an email or letter stating this. So, he acted shocked, apologized profusely and said that I need to have my documentation submitted by the end of the week. Yeah, they gave me a whopping 3 days. So, I contacted Ellen and had her write me a letter verifying my 1000 clinical hours. Then, I scanned the letter and all my conference certificates and emailed it off. Yesterday I got a call saying that since Ellen is not my supervisor, she cannot be the one to verify my hours. Well, my supervisor doesn't feel comfortable verifying my hours because she doesn't directly supervise me doing lactation work, and doesn't know how much time I actually spend doing such work. I also came to the realization after talking to the IBCLE representative yesterday that I can't count some of the time I was counting toward my hours and therefore I do not have enough hours to meet the minimum requirement. I paid $600 to apply for this test. I don't get a full refund. I cannot tell you how depressed this is making me right now (it's bad enough that I already have postpartum depression...) This was going to be such a great thing for me. And I was genuinely excited about it. It was going to be my means of employment while Kevin is in dental school. And it was all ripped away from me tonight. This sucks. Why did it have to be me that was chosen for "random" audit? Why? Why couldn't I have just gone on pretending, studied my little heart out and taken my chances at passing? LAME. I am depressed. I have a serious case of the "screw-it"s right now. I want to quit work altogether and just move on with life. Nothing work related is going well right now, so I just want to give up and move on; just stay home and be the best mom and wife I can since that is the only good thing going for me right now.